Who is Hellxia?

haha am i depressed (you’re american)

Cat Hellxia (they/them) is an idiot among idiots, endlessly fumbling forward while screaming into the void. Oh, and they do art (sometimes). Okay, enough of this third person nonsense.

The Short Story

I am tired all the time. It is hard to make art when there is so little time and energy. 

The Less Short Story

During my college years, I had a sad realization of internalized racism – I had hated being Asian for like 20 years of my life. I went through the whole angry academic social justice phase, which helped me develop my first series, Generalizasian. After that, I got real quiet and depressed, which led me to my second series, Frustrasian. (Yup, I do run puns past their useful life).

These days, I’m still slowly tinkering with a third series, God Girl, which features a powerful Asian God girl alongside the characters of Skeleton Space Man and the Sleep Walker. I’m kind of going for a Holy Trinity kind of thing. It’s a personal commentary on my mum’s relationship with a Christian god and my relationship with my mum. 

As of 2021, among other things, I’m also working on another series called Try to Smile. It’s a narrative I’m feeling out about desire and consent. When someone tells you to smile, what are they really asking you to do? Fulfill their fantasy of a happy world without actually confronting the reasons why you might not be smiling? 

My day job is in IT Help Desk supporting non-profits, my side volunteer job is (still) supporting 350 Sacramento, and in my spare time I am beeping back at my two birb boys while trying not to lose my mind about the state of the world. 

Thoughts

  • Delicious food and clean water are precious.
  • We need to fight for an equitable society AND a livable planet.
  • America is an oligarchy where the top 1% are taking away our access to health care, maximizing the cost of living while minimizing wages, polluting our water, creating false scarcity, creating a perpetual system of slave labor by taking away reproductive rights and critical-thought-based education… I have no answers, but the only responses we have now are fight, flight, or continued slavery in this class war until the planet is unlivable.
  • If you say the wrong gender pronoun, just quickly correct and move on instead of making a big fuss about apologizing and reinforcing a negative emotion around learning new gender pronouns.
  • I would absolutely be an authoritarian.